Chinese Romance

Image Source: nirots | Freedigitalphotos.net

The Chinese are very strict when it comes to marriage. Parents, especially traditional ones, prefer their children to marry a person who comes from the same ethnicity. Sometimes, having half percentage of Chinese blood wouldn't be enough. It has to be a pure blooded Chinese.

The children didn't want to create any havoc. It has already been instilled into their minds that they should find a match who carries the same heritage.

Yet, it's inevitable for Chinese living overseas to mingle with different people from different cultures. Some found love that weren't permitted by their parents. But they insisted. Some eloped. Some parents simply gave in. Some lost their inheritance rights from their angry parents.

Many parents are specially strict with their Chinese daughters. Some of the parents even resorted to consistent monitoring of their daughters' whereabouts. Some required daughters to go out with chaperons. Whoever courts their daughter should go through them first.

It is unclear to me why intermarriage carries a strong stigma among the Chinese. They want their tradition, culture, language, and values preserved. Is it that simple?

As I grew older, I came to realize lots of differences of Chinese romance from Filipino romance. Chinese men love differently. Chinese women interpret love differently. Once they decide to love a non-Chinese, they should be ready to deal with these differences.

So what are these differences that I am talking about? 

Based on what I have observed from interracial couples around me, Chinese men tend to be overprotective, a quality that outside culture may find suffocating. Chinese women, on the other hand, tend to be sheltered too much by their parents, thus, expect their spouse-to-be to baby them as well. Yet, foreign cultures value independent women. And the high expectations set by those women may just be too much to foreign men.

However, due to Filipino and even Western influences, I find many Chinese adopting many merging values with the outside culture. Perhaps after a few more decades, the gaps between Chinese and other cultures will narrow down, and intermarriage wouldn't be a big issue anymore.

Chinese Tea 101

Photo Source: Renato Ganoza | Flickr

Here in Manila, we are accustomed to drinking tea served in Chinese restaurants that comes in medium-sized porcelain teapots. Usually the tea leaves are left to steep inside these service pots for an indefinite period of time.

I had to admit that I most often only drank complimentary Chinese tea and rarely ordered better quality varieties in restaurants. Thus, I had been disinterested to this drink for as long as I can remember. Until this one day, I did drink a good quality tea. A gift from a friend who went to China. The wonderful scent of tea had sparked my interest to this second most widely consumed beverage in the world.

All teas are made from the same plant, Camellia Sinensis. The different kinds arise from the different harvesting time and methods of processing of the leaves. Other drinks such as peppermint and chamomile teas aren't real teas and are more appropriately termed as herbal teas.

Here are the types of tea starting from the shortest harvesting and processing time:

1. White Tea

2. Green Tea

3. Oolong Tea

3. Black or Red Tea

4. Pu-erh Tea

Different varieties require different steeping time and water temperature. Many tea enthusiasts even have separate teapots for each kind as they greatly differ in aroma and flavor.

Most often, the complimentary teas being provided by Chinese restaurants in Manila come from oolong tea. They are cheap and the same leaves can be repeatedly brewed several times while still retaining flavor. In fact, most of the small restaurants only offer this variety. It is only in fancier restaurants that I get to see other tea varieties being offered in the menu.

I personally haven't drank the White tea yet, as it is quite rare. My favorite is Jasmine tea, which is jasmine flower infused with green tea. It has delicate flavor and the aroma is very soothing.

Many parts of the globe consume tea, but different cultures drink tea in different ways. To drink tea the Chinese way, the tea is never to be mixed with milk or lemon. They are appreciated as it is, in its purest form. 

Before drinking tea, the first steep of tea is used to rinse the small tea cups with the help of tongs before discarding it. This is usually done over a special tray called tea tray that comes with a drainage (liquid is then collected into a pan beneath the drainage). The second steep is then served to the drinkers. The same batch of leaves can be repeatedly steeped a few more times before they start to lose flavor.

If there are too many drinkers, the steeped tea is first being transferred to a larger cup with strainer until it fills up, which is then used to distribute the tea among the many drinkers. It is called 'fair cup' as it allows all drinkers to experience the same taste of tea. Latter steeps taste differently from earlier steeps, and if all steeps are first mixed in another container before serving, they will homogenize and provide the same taste to everyone.

To learn more about Chinese Tea, here are some of the pages you may find useful:

Chinese Tea Ceremony

Types of Tea

What is Chinese Culture

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When you hear the words 'Chinese culture', some things might begin popping up in your head. It could be the porcelain vases with flower designs, tea sets, big round red lamps, calligraphy brushes, or the long red silk dresses for women. Chinese civilization dated early back several centuries ago and perhaps that is the reason why the culture has become this well-known and influential.

The country of China is huge, as well as its population. Many Chinese people ventured out far beyond their borders and migrated to different countries, and established their own Chinatown on foreign soil.

I have Chinese ancestry, but I live in the Philippines. I was born here and raised here. But just like many of the Chinese families that were established here, our culture still remains relatively intact, making us very distinguishable from the locals. The Chinese language also remains with us, though not many of the younger generations can speak fluently anymore.

We get a little bit of influences from outside cultures as well. But the elderlies, particularly the very traditional ones, insist on preserving our culture and language. As many of us had witnessed, some Chinese who were married to locals lost the culture and language. That is part of the reason why the traditional Chinese families prefer to marry their children to fellow Chinese.

I am a third generation Chinese in the Philippines. That doesn't make me old enough to witness the gradual transformation of our culture here. Perhaps our culture here has already changed throughout these years that the Mainland Chinese may be shocked to find out about. No doubt, we might have already lost some parts of the culture already, in order to welcome the culture of the land we live in. I am very much interested to find out how the Chinese culture of other overseas Chinese from other countries (such as Malaysia, US, and Singapore) has developed as well.

What I can say is that the common ground of our culture across the globe, despite the assimilation of the foreign influences, are the language, the yearly celebrations and festivities, marriage practices and beliefs, and of course, our strong appetite for Chinese cuisine!